I can imagine how tough things must be for you now. The enamored white knight in me once asked a troubled young lady to marry me, if nothing else so that my health insurance could prevent her bankruptcy. She refused, saying "It is too soon." 6 months later, she had died due to long term complications of severe anorexia. That was some time ago, and never having popped that question before or since, I am now about to turn 68.
It has been 9 years since having left a 'tenured' position under protest, forced to live off the remnants of Japan's meager public welfare, part-time classes, and the good will of Japanese friends ... though forever, a stranger in a strange land, and no hope or expectations my personal circumstances will improve.
One of my few sources of solace, is that regardless of language, genre, or domain, occasionally ... only occasionally ... a bit of light peaks through. Hoping you see and hear what I see and hear in this ...
At 66 I subsist on Social Security and dwell in a rent control space trembling each increase of $50. So then, looking down time and inflation line and saying hmm, am I 70 when shit hits and what edge can I bring to extend and pretend longer still to 75. 9 more years here then ....wait and see if my Cruise Ship comes in.
I hear you Steigel. Seeing the same rot and corruption in Japan, just hidden by a shinier veneer of 'manners' ... I kind of like that old samurai thingy. If in a fight worth fighting, and facing the choice between life or death, choose death without hesitation.
In the end, we are all either food for worms, or dust in the wind. Might as well go out with a bang, at least pinching the sociopaths in charge ... if not taking a few out with us.
In the troughs between despair and rage, I hope we both find moments of grace and composure now and then. Even if only moments.
Hello Stegiel,
I can imagine how tough things must be for you now. The enamored white knight in me once asked a troubled young lady to marry me, if nothing else so that my health insurance could prevent her bankruptcy. She refused, saying "It is too soon." 6 months later, she had died due to long term complications of severe anorexia. That was some time ago, and never having popped that question before or since, I am now about to turn 68.
It has been 9 years since having left a 'tenured' position under protest, forced to live off the remnants of Japan's meager public welfare, part-time classes, and the good will of Japanese friends ... though forever, a stranger in a strange land, and no hope or expectations my personal circumstances will improve.
One of my few sources of solace, is that regardless of language, genre, or domain, occasionally ... only occasionally ... a bit of light peaks through. Hoping you see and hear what I see and hear in this ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKUmbvCO3m8
Now, before my own approaching grave, back to the fight.
Fight on brother.
For the sake of those who can't.
Fight on.
steve
At 66 I subsist on Social Security and dwell in a rent control space trembling each increase of $50. So then, looking down time and inflation line and saying hmm, am I 70 when shit hits and what edge can I bring to extend and pretend longer still to 75. 9 more years here then ....wait and see if my Cruise Ship comes in.
I hear you Steigel. Seeing the same rot and corruption in Japan, just hidden by a shinier veneer of 'manners' ... I kind of like that old samurai thingy. If in a fight worth fighting, and facing the choice between life or death, choose death without hesitation.
In the end, we are all either food for worms, or dust in the wind. Might as well go out with a bang, at least pinching the sociopaths in charge ... if not taking a few out with us.
In the troughs between despair and rage, I hope we both find moments of grace and composure now and then. Even if only moments.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29mX3vxI6bM.
Lonely time for sure.