A bus came by and I got on and a trip to never never land --fated. No escape from Destiny. Today home a bit longer and overwhelmed by that which needs must be done overall. I am looking at an entire flat that should go into storage. And only a few items remain home. Judith and I grokked today the deepest implicate fear of surgery failing twice:. First it does marginal good for a high physical cost. Second, hospitalization destroys health and morale.
Today estimated 9 days to surgery. In the ideal world she could come home when rain breaks on Friday. Then only 12 days of hospitalization. Otherwise more time for medical system to grind her down as they do now. Few I know grasp the fullness of this horror as after all we are not Nigerian or from a backward island in the Pacific populated by thinly Christianized Maori
they are becoming quite synthetic with some strange stuff in them. I cannot drink Stella or Heineken anymore and I sensed the taste of the sweet smell of death you can breathe in in mortuaries in a German beer, too...
Here in NZ a bivouac always conjures up the concept of a makeshift shelter that duck shooters erect on lake shores as camouflage as they hide in early dawn wake.
In your case, my friend, you sadly are the sitting duck.
People suffering the lack of knowledge. Heck, even with knowledge of how to take care of oneself in this day and age is still refused to be acted upon.
My Dad went through the same thing, under similar circumstances, that is what he cried when my mom died. Over and again, the doctors and hospitals continue the inhumane killing of humans is my view. Well, mom got plenty of morphine in the end to save her from a screaming death caused by the treatments.
I have no cheer to offer, as I feel myself to be witness to a freefall of most serious proportion, the likes of which I'd never thought would arrive in this lifetime.
There is much of worth to be destroyed, but the human will isn't one of those things, I'd like to believe...
If I was flush, I would apply some monetary salve, and if I had any good cheer to offer, I'd gladly donate some of that, as well.
Hmm, it would seem that I am well seated in poverty, so I am in the best of company with my new cohorts and comrades here on s.s.
Chin up, lad! Just in time for the next blow, I should expect!!
Been down so long looks like up to me. No rain today. Next two days more rain. So maybe if I break free from Kaiser jail I can see winter sunlight outside instead of from the sealed shut window of 4th floor surgical suite.
Listening to Messiaen. St. Francis. A fine Opera. Cost our Intendant her job. Well maybe not. Still her last Opera before replaced by a Texan. I think some Euro trash Opera was the one. Cannot recall.
Acquired taste. Took time. My first SF Opera was standing room for the Flying Dutchman. 1987. In the course of time I sold tickets and performances for the major art organizations of SF via their subcontractors. At the end of such a carnivalesque period for ten years I did not not return until offered manager in training for SF Opera vendor. They hired me for 6 months of training and then.....vendor oversold and had no new contracts only SF Opera fully staffed. I figured give one year. I did. No job. Got a sales job in .com. Selling storage to money needing people.
Someone middle class in Silicon Valley needs to declutter. They pay us and we pay you by square foot. June of 2019 after two years of stealth mode waiting for numbers to persuade a third round of vaporware investors the company closed. Hosts wanting money I sold to and the company delivered customer boxes but no customers arise. Very funny. Work from home. Sometimes world class hotels since lap top and phone all I need. Sometimes a park.
Good money. Then they crash and Covid comes to town.
A bus came by and I got on and a trip to never never land --fated. No escape from Destiny. Today home a bit longer and overwhelmed by that which needs must be done overall. I am looking at an entire flat that should go into storage. And only a few items remain home. Judith and I grokked today the deepest implicate fear of surgery failing twice:. First it does marginal good for a high physical cost. Second, hospitalization destroys health and morale.
Today estimated 9 days to surgery. In the ideal world she could come home when rain breaks on Friday. Then only 12 days of hospitalization. Otherwise more time for medical system to grind her down as they do now. Few I know grasp the fullness of this horror as after all we are not Nigerian or from a backward island in the Pacific populated by thinly Christianized Maori
Sir, I wish I were in SF now so I could buy you a beer. Your good cheer and lucid prose in the face of adversity are an example to us all.
Beware of beers;
:)
they are becoming quite synthetic with some strange stuff in them. I cannot drink Stella or Heineken anymore and I sensed the taste of the sweet smell of death you can breathe in in mortuaries in a German beer, too...
The same applies to most alcoholic beverages. :)
I am diabetic so beer has been abandoned. Wine drops sugar.
I prefer good herb but my budget precludes the best so the mediocre instead. We shall see how much mediocre vice survives this moment.
Do we know about "99 year blues".
Substack donation is a good way to go.
Any chance of resurrecting those two job offers.
No point having your life be drained by Kaiser.
One gig will hire when I am ready. The other dead.
That's good to know that you have a job waiting.
Here in NZ a bivouac always conjures up the concept of a makeshift shelter that duck shooters erect on lake shores as camouflage as they hide in early dawn wake.
In your case, my friend, you sadly are the sitting duck.
Edit: I got it wrong, in NZ it's called a maimai.
And so he cried "I didn't know what else to do?"!
People suffering the lack of knowledge. Heck, even with knowledge of how to take care of oneself in this day and age is still refused to be acted upon.
Imperfect world and too little knowledge. Though all in all removal strikes me as best due to swelling and growth over 7 years.
My Dad went through the same thing, under similar circumstances, that is what he cried when my mom died. Over and again, the doctors and hospitals continue the inhumane killing of humans is my view. Well, mom got plenty of morphine in the end to save her from a screaming death caused by the treatments.
So I'm sorry for being calloused.
I watched my father. Heart attack at my age of 6 in a remote trout lake in PA. Medical practice is antiquated and brutal.
That's a whomp for a 6 y.o. to take.
That would explain the Schopenhauer...
I have no cheer to offer, as I feel myself to be witness to a freefall of most serious proportion, the likes of which I'd never thought would arrive in this lifetime.
There is much of worth to be destroyed, but the human will isn't one of those things, I'd like to believe...
If I was flush, I would apply some monetary salve, and if I had any good cheer to offer, I'd gladly donate some of that, as well.
Hmm, it would seem that I am well seated in poverty, so I am in the best of company with my new cohorts and comrades here on s.s.
Chin up, lad! Just in time for the next blow, I should expect!!
How's that for some uplifting?
Been down so long looks like up to me. No rain today. Next two days more rain. So maybe if I break free from Kaiser jail I can see winter sunlight outside instead of from the sealed shut window of 4th floor surgical suite.
❤️❤️❤️
War-den, war-den, war-den...
Won't you break this lock and key?
Morrison wove his web in my mind, also.
Looking back, it was all psyops.
Devious and clever bastards...
https://youtu.be/cphaZm-9bD8
Lo-fi technically challenged, but I hope this fits in with your drizzly day on the bay.
Listening to Messiaen. St. Francis. A fine Opera. Cost our Intendant her job. Well maybe not. Still her last Opera before replaced by a Texan. I think some Euro trash Opera was the one. Cannot recall.
These two are Canucks.
Opera MAY be easier on the ears, though.
New-fangled , Bowser sounding, doo-woppy kinda vocals appealed to me for some unexplainable reason...
Those episodes of Sha-na-na as a kid coming back to haunt me, I
may suppose.
Better than Yee-haw, I reckon, though even Minnie Pearl comes to mind...
Music Programs. Hmm.
Acquired taste. Took time. My first SF Opera was standing room for the Flying Dutchman. 1987. In the course of time I sold tickets and performances for the major art organizations of SF via their subcontractors. At the end of such a carnivalesque period for ten years I did not not return until offered manager in training for SF Opera vendor. They hired me for 6 months of training and then.....vendor oversold and had no new contracts only SF Opera fully staffed. I figured give one year. I did. No job. Got a sales job in .com. Selling storage to money needing people.
Someone middle class in Silicon Valley needs to declutter. They pay us and we pay you by square foot. June of 2019 after two years of stealth mode waiting for numbers to persuade a third round of vaporware investors the company closed. Hosts wanting money I sold to and the company delivered customer boxes but no customers arise. Very funny. Work from home. Sometimes world class hotels since lap top and phone all I need. Sometimes a park.
Good money. Then they crash and Covid comes to town.