I am a philosophical creature as much as Sturm und Drang and the death of my wife and love is hard to accept as actual. Today a small group who knew us and knew Judith before I and I before Judith came together for her burial and this service in the early afternoon. The Rabbi liked a thought I shared with him on the phone yesterday and used it in his service. The thought is the deceased live as spirit until no one recalls their name. Judith Schiff gifted me a death I did not want but one I think - and I mentioned this to the Rabbi- was God calling her back home, not the visit by the Angel of Death. When the angel of death came to Moses and said, "Give me thy soul," Moses called to him: "Where I sit thou hast no right to stand." And the angel retired ashamed, and reported the occurrence to God. Again, God commanded him to bring the soul of Moses. The angel went, and, not finding him, inquired of the sea, of the mountains, and of the valleys; but they knew nothing of him (Sifre, Deut. 305). Really, Moses did not die through the angel of death, but through God's kiss ("bi-neshiḳah"); i.e., God drew his soul out of his body
I know it seems Kaliforniacated but really it is just the climate of San Francisco and this West Coast convergence of as I say 80 years influencing me. In Judo the energy of the foe is converted for the use of halting the attack. By accepting my loss then taking this mind and flipping feeling to deep thankfulness and gratitude for 25 years everything is different. Tomorrow is Solstice. She went to a different Carmel and I take no tour.
Kinda same old story you know with her family not helping to plan and wanting be dis-involved, quasi-communicado, aloof, and superior as only the most petite of the petty Bourgeoise of the suburbs of San Francisco can be towards a poet and bohemian n'er do well. How things sit is I invent the service and involve the Rabbi next Tuesday at Chapel (no parking) or grave site 20 minute drive. Eh. Service inventing no problem really just pondering how many come on a Tuesday afternoon. Hamlet doth delay deciding.
The last few weeks, before my mother died february, 2nd 2022, me, my daughter and my wife were caring for her 24/7, most of the time it was me with my mom. Our daughter prepared us a booklet with prayers, a part for the sick, another part for the dying and the prayers for when a person dies. That was of great comfort for me. While I was praying the holy rosary during the night at my mom's side, she slowly drifted away and took her last breath. I kissed her good bye. Then I finished the rosary, washed her and stayed with her until the sun came up and the other family members woke up.
It never "learned" how to do this, no one told me, never been there before, but all fell into the right place and it was a very natural and uplifting moment. I count this moment with my dying mom to the most precious moments in my life like my wedding and the birth of each of our kids.
June 13, a special day for mom, i had the same experience as you did when your mom died.
i wouldnt let the funeral director cover her beautiful face has she took my mom away and out of home that my dad had built, they were married for 67 yrs ! i wanted the warm sunshine on her face and for to see and smell her flowers, one last time , feel the air and ride in dignity with her face uncovered, ..i waved goodbye as I watched her ride away down her lifelong street, past neighbors as though she was enjoying the ride. so beautiful !
She disappeared into summer's dead dark morning
The brooks in Austria were frozen, icy to hold, and she frozen
Tropical Hawaiian magic, the Innsbruck airport is deserted, empty and she goes to the beach to wait my arrival
California disfigured the public statues of June; fleece from St. Nick red like a wound
The mercury in the mouth of the biting cold morning was fat gray fog
What instruments we have, accept as true, agree, radar, science from satellites, horoscopes and behavior of cats
The death dark cold and after midnight
In bed, at home, husband sleeping
She sleeps with the smile, quarter grimace
From life, from pain, from existence in human form
A caryatid no more, a Warrior Maiden forever
A struggle in doing it alone but I think the struggle is good.
Tonight visiting my old 1987 Mission neighborhood with a friend/roomate who now lives in Berkeley.
I got home at ten, lost my keys, paid $ to get in, got my extra set from her purse thinking back on how infrequently I went out alone, like never.
I am a philosophical creature as much as Sturm und Drang and the death of my wife and love is hard to accept as actual. Today a small group who knew us and knew Judith before I and I before Judith came together for her burial and this service in the early afternoon. The Rabbi liked a thought I shared with him on the phone yesterday and used it in his service. The thought is the deceased live as spirit until no one recalls their name. Judith Schiff gifted me a death I did not want but one I think - and I mentioned this to the Rabbi- was God calling her back home, not the visit by the Angel of Death. When the angel of death came to Moses and said, "Give me thy soul," Moses called to him: "Where I sit thou hast no right to stand." And the angel retired ashamed, and reported the occurrence to God. Again, God commanded him to bring the soul of Moses. The angel went, and, not finding him, inquired of the sea, of the mountains, and of the valleys; but they knew nothing of him (Sifre, Deut. 305). Really, Moses did not die through the angel of death, but through God's kiss ("bi-neshiḳah"); i.e., God drew his soul out of his body
I know it seems Kaliforniacated but really it is just the climate of San Francisco and this West Coast convergence of as I say 80 years influencing me. In Judo the energy of the foe is converted for the use of halting the attack. By accepting my loss then taking this mind and flipping feeling to deep thankfulness and gratitude for 25 years everything is different. Tomorrow is Solstice. She went to a different Carmel and I take no tour.
Kinda same old story you know with her family not helping to plan and wanting be dis-involved, quasi-communicado, aloof, and superior as only the most petite of the petty Bourgeoise of the suburbs of San Francisco can be towards a poet and bohemian n'er do well. How things sit is I invent the service and involve the Rabbi next Tuesday at Chapel (no parking) or grave site 20 minute drive. Eh. Service inventing no problem really just pondering how many come on a Tuesday afternoon. Hamlet doth delay deciding.
https://youtu.be/GEMuAnFH_lM.
My heartfelt condolences, Stegiel.
The last few weeks, before my mother died february, 2nd 2022, me, my daughter and my wife were caring for her 24/7, most of the time it was me with my mom. Our daughter prepared us a booklet with prayers, a part for the sick, another part for the dying and the prayers for when a person dies. That was of great comfort for me. While I was praying the holy rosary during the night at my mom's side, she slowly drifted away and took her last breath. I kissed her good bye. Then I finished the rosary, washed her and stayed with her until the sun came up and the other family members woke up.
It never "learned" how to do this, no one told me, never been there before, but all fell into the right place and it was a very natural and uplifting moment. I count this moment with my dying mom to the most precious moments in my life like my wedding and the birth of each of our kids.
June 13, a special day for mom, i had the same experience as you did when your mom died.
i wouldnt let the funeral director cover her beautiful face has she took my mom away and out of home that my dad had built, they were married for 67 yrs ! i wanted the warm sunshine on her face and for to see and smell her flowers, one last time , feel the air and ride in dignity with her face uncovered, ..i waved goodbye as I watched her ride away down her lifelong street, past neighbors as though she was enjoying the ride. so beautiful !
My most deepest heartfelt prayers and condolences, Stegiel.
My heartfelt sympathy. I pray for your comfort in this time of indescribable grief.
No one ever really dies, we just change the aggregate state. , I hope you can find a glimmer of comfort in this message.
My deepest condolences.
I'm sorry for your precious loss.
My deepest sympathies.
@rayhorvaththesource sent me.
Sending up prayers for you and your family.
A big hug, my friend, from across the pond... Prayers and blessings...
I'm so so sorry, my deepest condolences. Wishing you strength.
My deepest sympathy and condolence.
Words are never adequate. My condolences :(