The observation

It is sad not to see any good in goodness ” — Gogol

In this country I dwell among postmodern people. Well semi-people. Educated employees whose intelligence is devoted to toil. And then devoted to vacation. With a secure revenue stream assured and taken for granted. Among these urbanites the Russian proverb “Fear has big eyes” captures the psychological state. A mental condition of probably two hundred or 300 hundred millions. Bring to this normal human emotion a megaphone and organization. Repeat fear messaging as much as possible

Then lock everyone in a Sanitary prison camp.

Then playing on all of this issue pleas to vaccinate to save lives and then force people to be saved in this life whether they worship at the altar of Big Pharma or not. A kind of attempt at a medical Islam if you catch my drift, a Taliban style method “Allah or death” and most comply not seeking to enter the Kingdom too soon. I will inject they say, then I can resume my human life, ah but unforseen consequences arise and the challenge is to know truth that you are an accomplice in buying a faster ticket to the Kingdom than promised by the travel agency. All you know is nothing is as it was. And can not be again.

Buying time on loan terms not disclosed.

Now this Fear System after doing all short of door to door injections and as people grow sicker from injecting poison, needs to create more fear. And do so as if in total war. Repeat all fear propaganda and ramp up the volume. Inject or as WHO insists you will have the catastrophe of UNVACCINATED infecting everyone, the asymptomatic ones who blend in, who look like you, who are not SAFE, these people are dangerous and they by existence in disobedience shed misinformation which must be extirpated like a noxious weed.

All this in my head. Staying in Kaiser in late December watching my wife exist in half life and knowing too much needs to be spoken that once said cannot be revoked. Since my 5th and 6th grade letter writing against Vietnam my confusion few grasped. In college my interest in history and political science had me study and scrutinize my moments. Some time went by and bored with pre-law I returned to English and did publish a couple magazines with friends. Inspired by the notion of community I turned towards Surrealism as a political force-not as another Bourgeoise art movement. Long story was Sacramento provided a marvelous target but no one interested in my aims. The best “action” was a fundraiser for Loaves and Fishes homeless shelter. I was involved with Students United For Peace and also despite personal reservations SANE/Freeze. This is the days of Reagan and nuclear posturing with MX missile. Our Surrealist Action was styled Hands Around the Capitol. Connecting militarism with social decay.

I moved shortly afterwards to SF. To the Mission. And here the story twists as the organizations I worked with had no local base of support. Nor did they in Sacramento. And I in taking a road from 1974 backwards to 1964 discovered the past country of my imagination was only my imagination running away with me in 1987.

Older now but not wiser to the naked eye. If by wisdom one means prosperity and security in this American life tis inwards only. To be an Artiste Berdyaev reminds me is above all else a mental state and it is not the outward works that create the man. Maybe I knew this in 1974. By 1987 I had half forgotten it. I met too many talented people whose primary purpose was making art and whose inward state was all on the outside.

I am simply Tommy inside his own head feeling like Howard the Duck in a world I made cunningly by trial and error. Now in the post-Covid world of the coming dictatorship that makes all dictatorships prior merely sandbox games I find myself in my own past shouting world wake up. And seeing no one rouzed I wonder if the master's language can raze the structure of consciousness to the Foundation or if only video will do so of some nameless horror? Or if nothing can be done at all and we need no longer detain ourselves with the neighbor injecting poison and the media spreading lies and civil rights taken away so we will be Safe with masks and plastic shields and not touching the other?

My wife lies sick and grows sicker and this is how Americans are told to heal. If you have no money the death on credit plan is what you get instead. And passage to wellness has doctor priests trained to be impersonal machines patching people together so they return as Stakhanovites to moil and toil until death by injection