O won't you buy me a Tesla, my friends, my friends
The Toupee man represents brand by owning one or leasing on favorable terms
Hey Mr. Toupee Man, play a jingoist song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to
Hey, Mr. Toupee Man, play a song for me
In the jingle jangle mornin' Festung Amerika comes followin' you
I see why toupees and hairpieces are so easy to spot; we couldn't put a man on the moon, either.