This morning I was thinking on Negritude in French colonial thought. After Covid I admit my politics sharpened. I am not the white negro of Mailer but the unusual child of Modernity. An American boy now grown up. A little yes and a big NO, in the mythic mystic 60’s, in California. And due to my imagination I think very few educated people are in my drastic situation. $100 till month end.
6 months prior to Covid insanity no job arose. When it did I opted for early Social Security at 63. No jobs I looked into wanted unvaccinated workers moiling from home. Despite poverty I saw no reason to comply. My reasoning was simple: no homeless died or were sick. No one in my zipcode died from Covid. No one I knew was sick until vaccination.
I suppose people having no gun to the head also said no thanks. Some could afford to say no. I could not afford otherwise. Those who said no to Covid injections chose life over money. And in probably all social systems saying NO and insisting upon it creates issues. I said no. Consequences miniscule so far from that choice save no work. Though poverty is not “minuscule” if I contrast it to fully employed and fully vaccinated I beat the House Casino in Roulette. Winning in this game is not losing your bet. Not much do I need to buy but food, electricity and other bills. I seek to pay nothing otherwise. That I do pay otherwise my shrug speaks to it. Not much is spent. For me far less than if situated otherwsise. Easily a hypothetical book budget of $150 per month would please me.
Amazingly many books I want to read are free. Thus my ideas are behind. Not the students of the students of the thinker so much as the thinker interest me. Books for free enables me to read many older writers-and also find the students, and find the new and clarify from time to time how new the old is. Broke, behind in bills, butting my Ram head against reality, like Anthony Quinn in Zorba on broken limb I dance the pseudo-intellectual dream. Anno Covid and before I have written, stated my opinion, and moved on to the next dance. My dance is text. I read as I eat, in and out of season. Even writers in season but ignored by many readers I read and like an unfamiliar terrain walk through with all my biases and opinions. From this Surreal world I walk miles.
Aimee Cesaire- Notebook of a Return to a Native Land-excerpt
At the end of daybreak. . .
Beat it, I said to him, you cop, you lousy pig, beat it,
I detest the flunkies of order and the cockchafers of hope.
Beat it, evil grigri, you bedbug of a petty monk. Then I turned
toward paradises lost for him and his kin, calmer than the face
of a woman telling lies, and there, rocked by the flux of a
never exhausted thought I nourished the wind, I unlaced the
monsters and heard rise, from the other side of disaster, a
river of turtledoves and savanna clover which I carry forever
in my depths height-deep as the twentieth floor of the most
arrogant houses and as a guard against the putrefying force
of crepuscular surroundings, surveyed night and day by a cursed
venereal sun.
https://tritorch.com/degradation/
My economic emergency will end in June. By then bureaucracy admits my wife needs 24/7 help. My anticipation is this 24/7 is reduced to a maximum of 4 hours times 7 days. As husband I work for nothing.
<script type='text/javascript' src='https://storage.ko-fi.com/cdn/widget/Widget_2.js'></script><script type='text/javascript'>kofiwidget2.init('Support Me on Ko-fi', '#29abe0', 'W7W8GCS5B');kofiwidget2.draw();</script>
I do understand very well. Group think and social hypnosis create civilizations and destroy them. A decision was made by the international collective elite to start killing as a short run solution for a world with no government. Now 3 years into the murder of mankind more information is leaking about how but not exactly the why, and the why is due to fraud propping up the international monetary order. A subset of this is the population of China-1,439,323,776 in 2020. 2023- 1,425,671,352. China is the hybrid totalitarian model for high tech civilization so-called.
I'm across the globe and don't understand the connection of sort that somehow developed here but I'm always hoping to find your post in my inbox.
I so wish you strenght and I feel there's no other option but to keep going.
This post resonates with me with a points that aligned with my thinking on the medical intervention issues. I too, looked at the homeless, the arrivals at the sth. border, the slums in Asia, the suspiciously selective nature of the "deadly, novel virus", I looked at the circus around it. I looked at the global coordination, exemptions for those in gov. - yeah, I knew nothing then). After two years working in high exposure environment (hospitality, very busy surf club, with absolutely no "covid" incidents the mandates came in. Of course by then I knew so much more.
At almost sixty eight, after fifteen years there (not one day of sickness) I had to leave (there was only one other, the single mum with four kids and diabetic (gestational, got it at last pregnancy) who said no way she was risking it. Now, as I said I might be of "simple mind", I don't have degrees but I'm fairly well educated autodidact (in my esteemates of course, I maybe not be even close lol) I only have android Samsung phone and a small tablet. I'm bloody hopeless with all that new technology, barely scraping by. And yet, starting with nothing but my discern
(frankly from one link to another) I got myself here. The work was supplementing the pension I got on at sixty seven. Now it is all I have to live on
Out of $550/week mortgage takes out $440, I have a small unit but it is in a beautiful, climate friendly part of Qld, Aus. I took my meager superannuation out (37 grant) which I supplement from. Still, I'm very lucky (if luck has anything to do with it) in that I'm very healthy and has been all my life and in great shape (although sometimes I worry about my mental state, being of rather hermital nature and happy with it, I'm very well functioning in society but connect with only very few by choice, I like the person I am and not going to compromise on that in any way). I have two wonderful sons that wont let me starve. So there is that, however I hope it will not get there one way or the other.
I consider myself very fortunate and blessed - everyday - and I hope you don't mind me sharing with you. My small family (two sons +DiL + 1 granddaughter) are 1300 km away so it feels lonely sometimes. Thank you for the wonderful posts Stegiel, with my best wishes from "down under" Marta