July, 4th day of month, Anno Domini 2023

Ain't No Cure For Summertime Blues

Deciding this day to stick home having less interest than many in a day off with feasting and fireworks and fun for the day locked in memory and into memory I pursue odds and ends and think sadly about Anguish and Anxiety. This is our existential situation existing in an unfriendly world inevitably resulting in death and frequently catastrophe. We are never prepared. We are lucky to live and lucky to have memory and I think luckier if our memory of living informs our life in a non-neutral hedonistic abandon to BE this body electric-TO BE. This is the only wealth we hold. This is the truth gold symbolizes. We exist and by existing act. The act creates the person slowly through time however now and then this prepares the person and the Zen stick of life hits. Now comes for a few folks Kensho. Insight or awakening, not full Buddhahood which may suddenly arise in prepared persons but be shallow and require further time to deepen.

On this 4th July only a few weeks after my sudden encounter with life I clean my home space slowly. Stagnant Chi prevails, and I moving stagnant memories, I am struggling to actualize this new life after the sudden death of my love and companion of 26 years, my wife, and thinking about how much more I have that must leave my space not dumped I listen to music and act.

Since Judith music is an escape.

Most media aside from words, text, has not been in the background of my life despite enthusiasm. Last 3 weeks a mix. Classical, like Paganini, then Reggae with Bob Marley and Peter Tosh, then Ilse of Wight in 1970 where Hawkwind, Michael Mooorcock’s favorite band performed outside not being invited in, but Joni, Jimi, WHO, Stones are. A bit of Jerry Garcia and Merle Saunders and then Jerry and Grisman live on tape performing Shady Grove and then Old and In The Way. Almost all music before 23 years ago.

Amusing is even the Opera arias are mostly in the time frame of 20 years. Mostly.