Zen bookstore days absolutely delightful. I did not practice Zen. I just read Zen. One day while I was having supper in the abbot's quarters, I [was so absorbed in the koan that I] just held the chopsticks and forgot to eat. The master remarked to a bystander that my progress in Ch'an was as slow as the growth of the Huang-yang plant [Buxus mycrophylla, a plant which allegedly grows only one inch every year]. I then told him by a simile what position I was in. "I am like a dog who stands by a pot of boiling fat: he cannot lick it however badly he wants to, nor can he go away from it though he may wish to quit." The master said, "This is exactly the case. [The koan] is really a vajra cage and a seat of thorns to you." I then said to him. "When you were with your teacher, Wu-tsu, you asked him about the same koan, and what was his answer?" The master at first refused to say anything. But I insisted, saying, "When you asked him about it, you were not alone, but with an assembly. I am sure that there are people who know all about it." The master then said; "I ask him, 'To be and not to be — it is like a wisteria leaning on a tree. What is the meaning of it?' Wu-tsu replied, 'You cannot paint it, you cannot sketch it, however much you try.' I further said, 'What if the tree suddenly breaks down and the wisteria dies?' Wu-tsu said, 'You are following the words'."[14]
Ta-hui claimed that as soon as he heard this, he saw the whole point of the koan most clearly. His master tested him further with a few other koans all of which Ta-hui successfully answered one by one. Yuan-wu recognized him as a true heir to the Lin-chi tradition. Many years later, when he gave a sermon to his disciples, he would recall the years of spiritual struggle in this way:
There is no language to describe Ch'an. One must achieve his understanding through an enlightenment experience. Since I was seventeen years old I had been seized with doubt concerning this matter. After I struggled for seventeen years I finally could rest. Before p.216 I achieved enlightenment I often thought to myself: I am now already of such and such an age. Before I was born on this earth, where was I? My mind was pitch-black and had no idea where I came from. Since I did not know my origin, this was what Buddhism called, "Life is a great matter" (sheng ta). 生大 When I die in the future, where shall I go? When I thought about this, my mind was also totally dark and had no idea where I would go from here. Since I did not know my destiny, this was what Buddhism called, "Death is a great matter" (ssu ta) 死大"Existence is impermanent and life ends quickly. Life and Death is a Great Matter".[15]
Again, we find the crucial factors in Ta-hui's spiritual struggle were the existential confrontation with his mortality and the burning need to solve the great mystery of samsara. After his enlightenment, his fame spread far and wide. Gentry officials vied for the opportunity to study under him. The Minister of the Right, Lu Shun, presented him with a purple robe and the honorific title, Fo-jih, ''The Sun of Buddhism". However, this was a very troublesome time for the nation. The very next year, 1126, the Nu-chen Tartars captured both Emperors Hui-tsung and Chin-tsung together with some three thousand members of the royal family. The capital was moved to the South, and the Southern Sung dynasty began.
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